?

Log in

Listening Through Silence.

I'm closing this.... blog, or whatever you call it. Thank you dear blog, for giving me a place to go that didn't make me feel like a freak. I've made lots of mistakes, shed lots of tears and shared many happy moments, all here. Thank you. No words can express my gratitude.

And thank you readers of my journal for coming here and putting up with all the rubbish i wrote.

I might come back, if I had the urge to write again. I might not. But whatever the choice, thank you all for being such kind and awesome folks.

Farewell!

.......

I'd wanted a positive start for today the moment I wake up, but the more I think of it, the more I lose the motivation to. And by the time I get out of bed, I'm back again in that cloud. The same cloud that haunts me every single waking moment for the past 2 months. Coupled with the fact that I'm sick, my whole body aches - from my head, my eyes, my back, my waist and my tired legs. Add them together and you'll get a pretty lousy start for the day.

I'm starting to have a bit more fun in Esplanade. Only a bit. I did sound this week. Yesterday was my last day at doing sound. The guys there are awesome, cool dudes. Spent the last three days, Thursday - Saturday, doing live sound. Some 'Shoegazing' festival. It's called that because the bands use a lot of effect pedals so they'll be stepping on their pedals quite often and that all you see are their shoes, or so I heard. And most of the bands are horrible, and that's being kind enough. They were excessively loud. So much so that I went home with a throbbing headache and ringing ears at the end of every show. The only highlight for every band is their drummer, because that's the only thing you can pick out. And the occasional bass. The rest are just noise, coming close to white noise, for some bands. The guitars and vocals blend in together so much I couldn't identify them from each other unless I listen really closely.

One of the guys bought me and Joan stickers from the show! I dunno if it's a band sticker but it looks cool. I felt quite sad because it's my last day with them. I wanted to stay till they strike out at 11:30pm but I need to go home to take my much needed rest, no matter how much I want to. Felt like I was giving excuses when I told them I was sick but I couldn't take it anymore, the loud music, the crazy drums, the noise, my headaches and dizziness.

I leant much more this week than last week. I can now patch a junction box, know what type of microphones to use for kick drums, snares, tomps, hi hats and overhead cymbals, all components of a drum set, I know how to sync wireless microphones and I know what house-keeping is. But I can't really name them.

But I'm still under that cloud. There's a fog that's so dense and thick that it refuses to lift and I'm left to fumble my way around, sticking my hand out like a blind person to feel my way about. Will I ever get out of it? Argh.

I'm Back.

I totally understand how lonely it is to live alone, all by yourself, even though I've never lived alone anywhere before. I know of someone in her thirties who lives alone in a small cozy apartment. Went to her apartment with some of her friends last year where she baked for us. Got to see how a single woman from Italy lives in Singapore by herself. It was decorated with pictures of herself and some friends, didn't see any pictures that doesn't have herself in it. Since she's a gourmet and loves food and cooking (most Italians are), there's also a good-sized wine chiller by the door side. Saw her again tonight and she looked really lonely and sad. It doesn't show because she's really elegant and graceful to people. But - maybe because I'm like that myself and I'm sensitive to these kind of things - I could see deep-seated loneliness in her eyes. And I know for a fact that she was married for a few years but they seperated because of personal differences.

She came for the whole program but left immediately afterwards. She didn't use to be like that - she was really friendly, charming, sociable (unlike me) and gracious. But I realised recently that she's really shy too. I've known her ever since I was 10 but we rarely talked (only three times in my memory) because partly, I feel really awkward talking to a Caucasian, but mainly because we were both shy. I was wondering where she'd went after the program and I realised she'd gone home, her bag was gone and she lives nearby too. Well, maybe she's busy and had something else on. But it got me into thinking about single people living alone - and back into writing. Especially those corporate leaders who are rich and 'successful', living in expensive condos. Is that what they come home to? After a hard day's work, earning yet more money, they come home facing yet another lonely night by themselves. Sleeping in a bed that feels too big, seating on a couch and feeling like something's missing, eating on a table that's too empty.

If you ask me, I'd really really like to live by myself, even though it can be really lonely at times, there's that exciting feeling of freedom and serenity in sleeping at your own time with nobody to nag at you. You can snore loudly, make all sorts of noises in your bed like snorting and some other random noises and squeaks without disturbing anyone, stretching all the way in bed without hitting somebody. There's a different kind of peace in living all by yourself, the exhilarating independence, enjoying a quiet time with yourself, a quiet meal, reading a book, writing while enjoying the scenery outside the window, playing guitar, and singing loudly without worrying about anybody listening to your horrible voice. Aaah... I feel peaceful thinking about that already. Even if you feel lonely, just call a girlfriend and invite her for a stay-over! Watch movies, talk all night, and squeeze together in a single-sized bed! Oh the fun and excitement!

But yet, there will always be a part in most single women who are living alone that wishes for permanent company, someone who doesn't stay for the night and leaves the next day. A part that wishes that there will be someone whom they can spend those lonely nights with, someone whom they can talk to about their day the moment they're home from work. Someone who can fill the gaping hole in them, that need for attachment and love because there are indeed some things even your bestest best friend in the world cannot give. Someone to erase that heavy weight bearing down on you, that empty loneliness, that bleakness.

I seem to sound like someone with experience. I'm not even old enough to live by myself and in truth, there are certain things in life I would never understand until I've lived it out. But yes people, I've been through stages quite similar to these, so to a certain extent, I totally understand. Okay, not exactly what I'd wanted to say but if you know me, you'd get what I mean.

Oh The Frustration!

Well since all my friends are too busy for me - I seem to say it as if I have so many friends when in actual fact I only have a handful of 'real' friends (for want of a better word), I shall express my boredom here.

First two days into my official attachment to Esplanade and I'm bored, tired and broke. Work was from 8am-8pm on the first day. I reached there, met some of my friends, collected our safety boots, which were stiff, painful, heavy, chunky, noisy and uncomfortable, and reported at the concert hall where people were taking down the riggings and lights from the Mosaic Festival to restore the hall to its original form. We were just to observe because that's our original purpose of coming here - to observe and ask questions. How boring is that. For the first half an hour or so, we watched them operate the genie lift, which is a platform which you can raise to do work on stage. They used that to remove lights from a gigantic un-climbable ladder that was used to rig some of the lights from the festival. The they removed the ladder itself using a very ingenious method.

Two of us were attached to the staging department and the other two in the lighting department but because there was nothing we can do to help in staging because all of it involves lifting and moving heavy props and instruments, the people let us help them with unscrewing the bolts to remove the lights and sometimes moving the lights to store them in the racks, which made us look really pathetic because all of us could barely lift them. 

Oh yes, before that we were asked to remove wires from the gigantic ladder which were held in place by tapes, coil the wires, which I was surprised I could do it because I used to fail at it in school, and tape them individually to keep them from tangling. 

We also helped in changing the gel (which is the film of plastic you put in front of lights to give them colour) of the fixed lights, removing them, taking them out of the frame and inserting frosted ones. We ran out of gels and we have to rush all the way to the theatre with one of the crew to take some more. We also learnt how to cut them into little square pieces from the rolls of gel to fit into the frames. Then I helped to check if the safety wires were properly tied to all the lights, while the rest adjusted the lights. 

After that we met up with the rest of the people who were posted to different locations and went for lunch. When we came back at 2pm, there was nothing much to do because they were addressing the lights, troubleshooting them to make sure they worked, carrying heavy platforms for the performance from the Singapore Symphony Orchestra tomorrow, so we slacked all the way until 8pm which is - at pantry drink coffee and tea, Green Room slacking, concert hall talking or sleeping, Green Room playing cards etc etc.

For the second day, it was worse. I mean, we really didn't do anything much. At all. The only good part was that we got to watch the Singapore Symphony Orchestra rehearse, we went up to the organ loft where the $5 million pipe organ is and we went behind the control room to learn a bit of the lighting controls. That's it. We kept going around to ask if anyone needed our help, so much so that we kinda got scolded for being annoying. But there really wasn't much for us to do. When we first came and asked the people in charge they just told us that there was nothing at all to do, even for them because they've already prepared for the orchestra yesterday and they're now waiting for them to arrive. So that's what we did, slacked from 8:30am to 10pm. I almost cried from the boredom. 

Lucky I've got classmates who were fun although I felt kinda lonely even then, but it's mostly because I kept to myself most of the time. These two days felt like 2 weeks. Literally. Did I say that I won't be paid for the attachment? At all? I have to pay for my own lunch and dinner, so you can see why I'm so miserable. Well, that's partly the reason.

Today is my off day and here I am, writing. Woke up at 12 noon today and I thought today was a Saturday. I was that tired. Shagged. And I still have to work on weekends - Saturday till 11:30pm (can claim taxi fare!), Sunday is Baybeats auditions, 7am-10:30pm. I'd better go prepare for my guitar lessons, practice and practice. Just maybe I'll rot form the monotony and dreariness of it all.

Busy Busy Busy!!

Funnily enough, I have run out of things to write about. At least, of things that are consequential. None of which impels me to write.

Went to Shirley's house on Thursday to bake!! Along with Germs and some of their friends. Oreo cheese cake and oatmeal raisin cookies! Too bad I can't stay for the whole day. I didn't do much there, was distracted by the guitar. But I took lots of pictures!
Oreo Cheese Cake FTW!!Collapse )I'll be having my attachment next Monday, in 2 days' time. According to the briefing, it'll be like normal working hours, 9am-5pm. We might be required to stay after hours to work during late night shows. It's gonna be really hectic. I just hope it's fun because Germs won't be there. I'll be with classmates I'm not close to. I got a haircut and bought new shoes specially for the attachment. Supposedly to 'make good impressions'. It'd better be good. Hmph.

I heard this song by The Corrs - Runaway. So magical. Fell in love right away. Actually I heard it long ago but I just didn't know the name.


The chemistry the members share with each others is really intimate, totally awesome. That's because they're siblings. Haha, my favourite is Caroline, the girl who plays piano and drums. My two most favourite instrument other than the guitar, the instruments that I really REALLY wanna learn next after the guitar. And she's really pretty too. I wish I was like her, heh. All of them are taught the piano when they're really young. Seeing them play live is amazing, they seem to know what the other is about to do and match them with perfect harmony. If only my family play instruments too, then we can have a band.

I wanted to embed the video I made about the whole concert experience but something is wrong with this freaking site, caused me a LOT of headaches. Oh well, you can always watch it on Facebook.

Paramore Live In Singapore 2010

I had the AWESOMEST time yesterday night!!! Paramore came to Singapore for a night of awesomeness, and gave a hell of a show!! Full of energy! The show starts at 8pm. Left a bit late so by the time I reached, it was a little later than 8. They didn't sell much stuff there - I was hoping they'd at least sell badges or something but they only sold T-shirts and albums. So by the time I reached, small and medium sizes were all gone. And the deluxe album sells for $60. Why can't they sell something everyone can buy!? Like badges, jackets, or mugs?? At least sell stickers! BOOOO.

Anyway, got lost the moment I reached there. There's just sooo many people! They're still queuing so I thought it must be the queue to the seats, lined up for about a minute before someone announced that the queue was for those with premium tickets - the most expensive one, those with the cheaper tickets have to go up the escalator. Went up the escalator and I felt my heart beat escalating with the escalator too. People in front and behind me are talking about how excited they are too, and I almost couldn't stand it, I wanted to whoop!! Controlled myself, went to the entrance and just in time, the band opening for Paramore started playing. Immediately went to the merchandise counter but all the small and medium sizes were gone. GARRR. So I went inside, the usher showed me my seat - upstairs in the balcony. I was like the only person who went alone or something. Everyone else had a friend along with them. And I could feel people's eyes staring at me - who the hell goes to a concert alone?? A rock concert? Took my seat and took out my camera. The people in my part of the balcony were freaking quiet, no one screamed or yelled at all, I wanted to start screaming already but I'd look weird since no one else around me was screaming. I guess maybe it's because Paramore's not out yet and it's just some local band. I think it was Mia Lee, the Singapore Idol season 1 contestant. Or at least the singer's name was Mia. 

After a few minutes of sitting down there wanting to get high but can't and taking lousy pictures, I went down to the lower part of the stage to get some decent pictures but I couldn't really, my photo taking skills are lousy, need to get more training! The band finished and when they said "Guess who's coming out?" the whole place went wild. Then they switched on the lights to do some sound checks and switch the instruments. I wish I was the band opening for them, or even the stage crew! That's what AVT people will do, sound checks, light rigging and synchronising and best of all -  meet famous people!! I love my course now. Took a bit more pictures then I got bored and went back to my seat. The crowd was getting impatient - chanting Paramore's name. When someone came out to do drum check, the crowd thought it was Zac Farro, the drummer and they started screaming. But the guy just waved.

Then finally, the lights went off, and the whole atmosphere changed, everyone was all geared up, you can feel the air spiking up and everyone was screaming, even louder this time. This was the moment I've been waiting for - everyone's waiting for. Ran down from my seat but I was too slow in catching the crew unveiling Paramore's name on the stage (think backdrop and cyclorama, haha) and by the time I reached the barrier, they were playing 'Ignorance'. Went down the seats as far as I could to take pictures. And the noise is deafening. Pounding in my ears the moment they started playing. Head-banging music. I was torn between jumping up and down and taking pictures so I alternated between both, heh. Must've looked ridiculous. One moment jumping the other standing still to get a good picture.

I was so happy they sang all my favourite songs!! Ignorance, Careful, Misery Business, That's What You Get, Let The Flames Begin, For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic, Crushcrushcrush, Decode, Pressure and the closing song - Brick By Boring Brick. I can sing along to them!! Especially 'That's What You Get' and 'Brick By Boring Brick'! (Oh my god, the guy beside me was so annoying, he had a horrible voice - it broke at the wrong time and - he kept making song requests when no one could hear him anyway, chanting away.) There was a time Hayley's bracelet flew out of her hand into the crowd and they caught it. And someone threw a sweaty T-shirt up the stage and she picked it up. They sang some songs I've never really heard before like The Only Exception. It was really nice, acoustic and quiet. I like that song after hearing it yesterday. All of us waved our hands, holding our cameras or glowstick (I didn't get one because I think it's only for people with premium tickets). There was one song, I can't remember what is it now, that Hayley took out her tambourine and banged it. I dunno what's the point of it because no one could hear it over all the noise anyway but she said it was really important. The crowd was awesome, stamping so hard on the ground that it shook. My favourite part is when during the ending riff of  'Let The Flames Begin', Zac, the drummer stomped really really hard on his kick drum and the whole stage shook. Oh my god it was like a music video moment - I swear the whole place shook. I dunno if the stage was meant to shake like that of if it was from the impact but it was amazing. So amazing. Hayley sometimes let us sing some parts of the song - she held up her mic while we sang the words.

Towards the end, she gave a speech on how amazing the audience were, we were some of the loudest crowds they've ever performed for! It's really cool to hear her speak normally like some regular person. And she said the band will be coming back in 5 year's time! It's all planned out, according to them. WHOOHOO! Then they started on their closing song - Brick By Boring Brick. We all sang along, even if we didn't know the word. Then it was time to go. Zac threw his drumstick to the crowd - I was so jealous! I wished that I was in the standing crowd, I'd throw myself over to get that stick!! Haha, kidding. Hayley threw her water bottle down too. Then Taylor York the lead guitarist went to the drums and used another pair of sticks to play a short solo and he too threw his stick to the crowd.
More Pix!Collapse )

Up till now I cannot really believe I went to Paramore's concert. It was so surreal that it almost seemed like a dream I'm trying to remember but is slipping from my grasp. I can't really remember the details now, only remember how I felt at that time and how amazing it was. The concert was 2 hours but the time Paramore performed was only a little more than an hour. I was a little disappointed but it was so worth my time and money. My first ever rock concert. My ears were numb from the noise, and it's still ringing. But you know what - everything was worth seeing Paramore live.

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it
And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darlin'

You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception


Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts

And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Or keep a straight face
And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content
With loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk


You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception


I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving in the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception


And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing

Pictures from Chalet

Okay, so here are the pictures from chalet! Very picture heavy post.

Picture spam!Collapse )
Aaah.... Chalet night, it was fun while it lasted.

Ambitions & Priorities

Just because of a really stupid, dumb and ridiculous mistake I made yesterday night (actually, it was more of a misunderstanding but it's still stupid, dumb and ridiculous), I realised that compared to most people, my priorities are placed very differently. Family, studies, career and money are placed at the top in most people's list - these are the things that are important to most people.

But mine was never these. I was never close to my family. My studies were never very impressive because I for one didn't put in much effort to them, although I admit they were not bad to begin with. But I never really strived for the top position in my class, or whatever. I did study hard, but I wasn't that determined, passionate or ambitious. I never aimed to be some rich person when I grow up. Of course it'd be awesome if you were rich, but it wasn't important to me at all. I doubt I would ever be rich. Having just enough to get by, and perhaps a little bit extra, would be sufficient for me. I know, of all people, the trappings of being rich, of wanting to be rich, of making conscious efforts to be rich. "But", you may argue, "surely you're not that greedy, there's nothing wrong in being rich". But on the whole, I think I've had enough of hearing the word 'rich', of seeing the look on some people's face when they talk about getting rich and making a million fugging bucks (think my dad). And in terms of my career, I don't give a damn about how much they pay me or how the people are there as long as I'm doing what I really like - working in the studio, making music, working with other musicians, be surrounded by music and musical instruments - and that people appreciate my work, listen to it,  and hopefully like it.

To be honest, I don't think I have priorities. It all depends. If I had a friend who needs me but I have an important project to do, I'd rather help that friend. But if I had an exam coming but my friends are organising something, exams are more important. Things like this are hard to put in words. I'd analyse the situation to see which are the ones that need more attention. My emotions play a big part too. I'd do anything if it's for someone or something I really love and care about, screw exams.

I also realise that growing up, two things play a big part in my life - music and writing.

Music is like magic to me. You can say so many things in a song, you can say so much in 3 minutes. Sometimes 4 or 5 or 10 minutes. Songs like 'Hey There Delilah', 'Summertime' by Michelle Branch, 'Home' by Michael Buble, 'The Scientist' by Coldplay, 'A Thousand Miles' by Vanessa Carlton and many others, are what I've always wanted to but can't write. And the music that accompanies the words flow so naturally that it's magical. You can sing about anything, you can write about anything, from how happy you feel, to how much you want to teach the whole world to sing. You can leave a message to somebody and no one else will ever know. You can impart a lesson through your song, you can tell your life story for others to hear, you can tell people how angry, happy or hurt you feel, you can tell someone how much you love or hate them - all in a song. Even without words, you can still impart the emotions through a piece of music.

If I weren't a musician, if it wasn't for music, I'd be a writer. Writing for me is really really therapeutic, I've only just found recently. Although it doesn't make me feel happier or better (nothing can nowadays), I do feel relieved after writing. Like I've got a great load off my back - it'd still hurt but it doesn't bear down on me anymore. I'm beginning to have growing interests in literature and poetry. I've wanted to write novels even when I was young, still in primary school I think. I really admire Christopher Paolini, author of 'Eragon'. He wrote the book when he was 16 and he's still going strong - already writing the fourth installment to Eragon.

What I really like about writing is that I can describe things in details with lots of words. I'm not a details kind of person but somehow, I find the challenge in finding the right words to describe things fun. I just like it. I like making comparisons of things to other things. Sometimes when you're talking, you might forget things or be too excited you forgot to say something important. But when you're writing, you can save a draft of it, so that you can add in a thing or two that you've forgotten. When you're telling people something, distractions tend to get in the way but I can just write a whole essay, then you can read everything I'd wanted to say. But of course it takes away the life, the shared laughter, and the companionship of talking. Writing gives you the freedom of editing and omission. And that's where some of the things people write become insincere and calculated. But it also keeps us from saying things we would regret later, things that are better left unsaid, omitted.

I've yet to find anything that I'm really really good at. Like really good. Some people have an amazing stage presence when they perform or give a speech, some are really determined so they got what they want out of sheer determination, some are really resourceful, they've got useful contacts and they know where to find things, some are sociable and they make friends really fast and they love people, some have a really good sense of humor and they're able to turn any situations into fun - natural comedians. But really, I'm still searching for something that I have a real knack for. Something I can do without even trying or getting frustrated. My musicianship is not as good compared to most people in my class, let alone to people like Avril Lavigne, YUI or Taylor Swift. And while my writing is good in most standards, I do not have the creativity needed for writers to come up with a good plot or storyline for novels, which is what I'm considering doing.

But I ain't gonna embark on some self-discovering journey. That is complete trash. Claptrap. Sometimes acceptance is all you need to come to terms with our imperfections. But - there's always a part of us wishing we could be more like someone - prettier, more handsome, cleverer, better at guitar, taller, richer, happier.

I realised that writing and music have always been a source of comfort for me my whole life. When I don't feel like talking to anyone, I'll be doing anything to do with music or writing - listening to songs, playing guitar, writing in my dairy, trying (and failing) to write a song. Whenever I'm frustrated with my guitar or song writing skills, or I'm feeling pensive (deep in thought or reflective), I'd vent my frustrations by writing them out. When I'm feeling moody, or sad, I'd play sad songs and sometimes sing, or I'd listen to sad songs. 

Oh man, look at the time, it's so late. There's still so much I want to write but so little time. Took me 2 days to write this, I kept editing and it's not easy to come up with the right words for what I wanted to say. Now I'm so tired I can barely think properly. I'd better stop now before I spew any more nonsense. Oh yes, I should post pictures of chalet soon too.

Can We Do That Again?

Had a totally AWEOME 2-day chalet at Pasir Ris' Costa Sands Resorts with my AWESOME class. I cannot put in words here everything we did and how AWESOME it was but I'll try my best. 

Day 1: Reached SMU at 2pm on Wednesday to meet Germs and slack, played Plants vs Zombie on her Mac, helped her win a few trophies (Yesss!), then went of at 3:15 for guitar class at 3:30. After class at 4pm, took the train straight to Pasir Ris for chalet!! I was sort of ticked off that Germs couldn't make it and my Mp3 battery ran out just as I was listening to the third song on the train..... So I had to go without music the whole journey. Oh well.

I came at 5:30 and already they had the makeshift pit starting, cooking drumlets and chicken slices. AWESOME music blasting and all though Kenneth's AWESOME amplifier. In less than 10 minutes upon my arrival, the food is ready. And the food is AWESOME. We ran out of chicken halfway through so Kenneth went back to Cheers and bought chicken cutlet and some other raw food. Quite a lot. He spent about $300 on food alone, and that's only for the first day. After eating, and lurking around with nothing to do, I decided to help man the barbecue pit. There were only 2 tongs so I had to wait and find other stuff to help like applying butter on the food and turning the satay sticks. 

There was a time when one of the coals caught fire and some of us tried to beat it down. But Ryan with his random ideas took a marshmallow, stuck it to a wooden stick and held it by the fire, ate it and pronounced it heavenly. So all of us abandoned our cooking to eat marshmallows. 

By then everybody's arrived and we were all eating, some people still barbecuing. We had sambal stingray, barbecued corn, chicken wings and drumstick, hotdogs, crabsticks, satay and a big styrofoam box full of ice and giant bottles of soft drinks. It's like an ongoing buffet, there's always people barbecuing food. Non stop! Some of us played contact rugby, some of us took pictures. Then when almost all of us have eaten, Kenneth, Chris, Joanne, Azwan and Joel went to the pool for a dip. Took lots of crazy shots of them diving in. And some of us went upstairs to the tiny air-conditioned room to cool down, some of us were DJs, changing tracks every time a song ended. I was helping out with the barbecuing. By then, it was dark and I was totally reeking of burnt charcoal and smoke. The rest were talking, joking around, cooking marshmallows over the coals or still eating.

The music was awesome - I discovered lots of new music on that day alone. Life in Technicolor by Coldplay, some old school songs like Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas, To Be With You by Mr. Big and Smoke On The Water by Deep Purple and my favourite - On The Wing by Owl City. Now whenever I hear that song, I'll always be reminded of the chalet night and other beautiful things in life. It makes me feel like I'm flying. The lyrics are cool too. It kinda defines me, like this is what I've always wanted to do. Close my eyes and fly.

Anyway, Li Jing took out her Playstation 2 but she had a bit of difficulty setting it up. So the rest of us waited, and when she finally got it, we all watched her play with Hui Min. It's a game where you enter a haunted house and take pictures of ghosts to finish it off. Li Jing's the only one screaming while all of us were laughing at her expression. It's so funny because none of us find it remotely scary but she's the only one who kept screaming even though she's played that game before. The only part we yelled is when we failed to take a picture of the ghost or if it came out too fast.

By then the guys have finished swimming and they took over the barbecue pit, cooking chicken cutlets that looks so delicious and juicy I couldn't pass up the chance to eat some even though I was already stuffed full. Waited for quite some time for it to be ready. When I finally ate it, oh my gosh, it's one of the best chicken I've ever tasted in my life. Dripping with honey, tender and juicy. Cooked to perfection. I didn't know chicken can taste so wonderful when it's cooked on a makeshift barbecue pit.

After eating, it's time for me to go home. It's about 9:30pm. I really wanted to stay for the night but I didn't bring any toiletries and spare clothes with me. I can't possibly sleep with those reeking clothes! So I said goodbye to the gang and went home with a heavy heart. Hui Min and Qiu Yi were kind enough to send me to the bus stop. On the train home I bombarded Germs with texts on how totally AWESOME that day was because I was bored and my Mp3 battery ran out and I couldn't charge it in the chalet. Heheh.

Day 2: I was late meeting Germs and Min Qi at 2:30 because I was playing my guitar and when I next looked at the time, it's almost 2 and it takes 1 hour for me to reach Pasir Ris. So in the end I was half an hour late. When we reached the chalet only 3 people were left - Kenneth, Joanne and Zakir. The rest went off early in the morning because they all have something on. They had another barbecue going, just as we'd hoped so we helped out, Germs and Min Qi were there for the first time so they were not used to our makeshift barbecue pit. The food was still frozen and we had trouble getting it out of their containers so I suggested we out it out of the shade into the glaring sunlight to speed up the thawing process. We were already sweating like crazy because of the barbecue fire, add the sun's glazing heat and we're all melting outside just to cook a few wings and lamb chop. Germs and Min Qi were all turning dark from the sun but somehow I wasn't affected, must be the genes, heh. So I held an umbrella for Germs while she barbecued the meat. After that we went in to eat. I was already quite full because I ate a light lunch at home and I'd stolen some of the food Germs barbecued too so I didn't eat much.

After lunch we played mattress surfing!! We carried a mattress from one of the beds to the top of the stairs and all 3 of us - me, Germs and Min Qi sat on the mattress and Zakir and Joanne pushed us down. Freaking AWESOME! We screamed and Kenneth made sure to take lots of pictures. Germs wanted to do it again but I felt it was embarrassing so I passed. Now I regret not going for a second round, it feels great flying down the stairs on a mattress! Oh well. Then we watched some TV and we went up the the room for some air-con. Kenneth got Zakir to bring his whole amplifier set up to the room so he could blast his songs there. And all 6 of us were in the room, Zakir and Joanne sleeping on the two beds while Kenneth squeezed in with Zak on the bed that got stripped of it mattress together with his Mac Pro and speakers. I could have sworn the bed was creaking. I'd wanted it to be quiet but with Kenneth around, it's so impossible.

Then one of the songs Kenneth was playing caught my attention. It was by some Japanese band, I can't remember the name (Germs, if you remember please tell me!!) and they were AWESOME. There were two drummers on two full drum sets, 4 guitarists, 2 bassists (I think), a keyboardist, a pianist and a saxophonist. I don't really know what genre of music they were playing but at one point, the pianist added a bit of classical  music in one of his solos and we all laughed. But it was SO cool. And the best thing is that everyone got to have their own solo. Freaking awesome. Then Kenneth went to sleep for a few minutes while we played a few songs on his Mac. Then Sobrie called - he'd reached but got lost so most of us came down - Kenneth and Zak went to fetch Sobrie, me and Germs sent Min Qi to the bus stop because it was time for her to go. On the way there I kept bugging Germs to go to the beach with me but because it was freaking scorching out there, she didn't want to. Actually I've been bugging her to go to the beach ever since we reached. When we came back to the chalet, I bugged her again to go to the beach. And finally Germs relented! Heheh.

So she packed her stuff, went to the toilet, refilled her water bottle and we said goodbye to the rest. Walked the short way there and we talked about the right way to discipline kids. Haha.... The beach was beautiful, the air was cool, the sand was really fine, and the wind is soothing against our burnt skin. I wanted to go to the campsite I went to when I was 12 but it's waaaay back to the end of the beach and Germs didn't have the time so after walking for a bit more, we left. Waited with Germs in the interchange for her bus to come. It came all too soon. So it's time for me to go too. 

I've finally finished my narrative on the best chalet I've ever had. It's pretty damn long, I hope you don't find it too boring. It took me more than 5 hours to write the whole thing out. I never knew I could have so much fun with my classmates. Now I feel kinda sad. it's weird because when I first started writing I was all happy and cheerful but now I'm all sad and gloomy. I've been relieving these moments and now that it's over, I feel like chalet has ended for the second time. The same sadness, the same pang in realising that it's over. Two songs are running through my head now - Home by Michael Buble and On The Wing by Owl City. Both of them were played in the chalet and they remind me of it too. I can totally imagine myself singing "Let me go home...."

It's time for me to go now, so I'll leave with the lyrics to 'On The Wing':


On The Wing by Owl City
Breathe and I'll carry you away into the velvet sky
And we'll stir the stars around and watch them fall away
Into the Hudson Bay and plummet out of sight and sound
The open summer breeze will sweep you through the hills
Where I live in the Alpine heights
Below the northern lights I spend my coldest nights alone awake
And thinking of the weekend we were in love
(The weekend we were in love)

Home among these mountain tops can be so awfully dull
A thousand miles from the tide
Put photos on the walls of New York shopping malls
Distract me so I stay inside
I wish the rocket stayed over the promenade 'cuz I would make a hook
And I fish them from the sky
My darling she and I were hanging on so take us high
To sing the world goodbye

I am floating away lost in a silent ballet
I'm dreaming you're out in the blue and I am right beside you

Awake to take in the view
Late nights and early parades
Still photos and noisy arcades
My darling we're both on the wing
Look down and keep on singing and we can go anywhere

Are you there

Are you there

Or are you just a decoy dream in my head
Am I home or am I simply tumbling out alone

I am floating away
Lost in a silent ballet
I'm dreaming you're out in the blue and I am right beside you
Awake to take in the view

Late nights and early parades
Still photos and noisy arcades
My darling we're both on the wing look down and keep on singing
And we can go anywhere

Are you there
(Are you there)
(Are you there)
(Are you there)

Are you there
(Are you there)
(Are you there)
(Are you there)
I wonder what people are saying about me behind my back.  

I wonder who comes here anymore.

Had lots of fun with my new slide. Should have bought the longer one. *Sigh* But it's awesome nevertheless. I would never trade it with anything else cos it holds special memories for me, heh. I can do lots of stuff with this slide - make a looney tunes intro thing, the part when the theme music swells, make a hawaiian tune and a bit of Spongebob's ending music. It's soooo cool.